Friday, August 5, 2011

1+1=1 (Or How a True Clutz Can Defy the Laws of Mathematics)

I know all you math types are going ballistic right about now, but in this case 1+1 does not in fact equal 2. You don't believe me? Well, allow me to prove it. Just remember, only someone well versed in the art of being a clutz can get away with tampering with the laws of mathematics.

So, I have had an interesting week (Read: painful, aggravating, want-to-pull-the-hair-out-by-its-roots).

It all started so benign.

Some friends of mine have some awesome Huskies that I take care of whenever they go out of town. In addition to the dogs, I check up on the house, water plants, and record the weather stats (My friend is the official weather person for my area. Not even joking. I love it.).

Anyway, it was all going great. I had taken care of the dogs and had just finished watering the plants. You would think that having just been using the hose, I would know a little bit about its location, right?


And this is where a clutz can defy the laws of mathematics.

Let me take you through this pictorially.

First, we have the clutz (namely me):

Mmmm. You know I have actually done this before?

Second, we have the hose:

No, this isn't the actual hose.

Third, we have the broken rib:

Yeah, I wish.

Need I say more?

One clutz + one hose = one broken rib.

I told you a clutz could defy the laws of mathematics.

You know, if I'm going to break my rib, couldn't it at least have been while doing something heroic? Like saving someone from the zombie apocalypse? 


Ah, such is life.

So, how about the rest of you? Have you ever done something totally and completely clutzy? Come on. Make me feel better. Please? *grin*


  1. I was dancing at a Bar Mitzvah years ago. I was doing the twist, and twisted too hard, and I popped my kneecap. I collapsed screaming, and they had to stop the party and call in an ambulance and wheel me away. Tres embarrassing.

    And then 10 years later, I was installing a window unit air conditioner, and my elbow went through the glass window. I had to get stitches.

    --> Klutz! <--

  2. Phil - OUCH! Both of those sound really painful, but particularly you popping your kneecap. Yikes. :( Isn't it amazing how easy it is for us to get ourselves into trouble?

    Thanks for dropping by and for sharing your stories! :)

  3. Ouch. A few summers ago, my sister and I were having ring-diving races in the pool -- seeing who could get the most rings in the least amount of time, stuff like that. A ring went out of the pool, and I went to get it, but when I went back into the pool, I slipped and my leg got twisted up in the side of the pool ladder. I popped my knee out of place and went down howling. I also trip a lot over seemingly nothing, so you're definitely not alone. I hope your rib feels better soon!

  4. I have REALLY BIG HAIR. One time I ducked into one of those outdoor ice-coolers (like outside a 7-11) and my hair got sucked up into the overhead fan. I WAS STUCK. Not funny. My husband says it was.

    Rest up, love!

  5. Jenna - Ouchie!!! That must have hurt SO bad. :(

    Your line about tripping a lot "over seemingly nothing" made me smile. I am exactly like that. So glad to know that I am not the only one. :)

    Bethany - OH NO! Having your hair yanked into the overhead fan could NOT have felt good! :( do we manage to get ourselves in these situations, anyway??

    Thank you both for the well wishes!! :)

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  7. Nelson - Welcome to the blog! Thank you so much for your very nice comment! :)